Love and Trust

Posted on by bcp1662

St. Paul says that Love is the greatest of all things and without it nothing else counts. Jesus told us to love one another, our neighbor, even and especially our enemies.

What about trust? Love can do many things; it covers a multitude of sins. But it cannot create trust.

I don’t trust everyone I love. I’m glad Jesus didn’t command me to trust everyone. At best I can try treat them as I would if I did, up to a point. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Love may even demand that I do.

I’ve always wondered what Paul meant when he said “love believes all things.” Certainly not “all people.”

Like you, I’ve trusted a lot of people I should not have, including myself.

We are commanded to forgive, but not to trust.

Trust is made of many things: being reliable, showing up, keeping promises, being competent or admitting when we aren’t.

We trust people who know and are able and eager to do what is needed, and who always have our best interests at heart. Competence and Character.

These folks are worth their weight in gold.

Remember the old Boy Scout Law? Of the 12 points, trustworthy was number 1.

If I had to choose only one among all the classical virtues it would have to be trustworthiness.

I close with this wonderful poem by Edgar Guest.

Myself

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like [trust?] myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me; [Sadly, I often can]
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.

Thought, Word and Deed

Posted on by bcp1662

Stephen Covey created a diagram of concentric circles made up of: Our Circle of Concern; within that circle, our Circle of Influence; within that, our very small, Circle of Control. Of all the things that concern us, there are only a few that we can influence and even fewer that we can control.

Whereas reactive and passive people spend their energy talking and thinking about their many concerns, proactive people concentrate on what they can actually do something about.

Reactive and passive people tend to be unhappy, trapped in victimhood; and they attract others just like themselves. Proactive people tend to be energetic and happy; “birds of this feather” also tend to “flock together.”

A partner diagram might be: Circle of Thought — What I am thinking about; Circle of Talk — What I am (only) talking about; and Circle of Action — What I am doing something about.

Here is a good test question for me when I am “concerned” or “bothered” or want something to be otherwise:

“What specific and concrete goals have you set, and what specific and concrete physical actions have you taken to address this concern?”  

If any of you hear me grousing or prognosticating a dismal future, ask me that question.

This will quickly reveal if it is something I can influence or control.  It will also reveal how serious I am about it.  

Life is short and I want to focus my energies strategically.