Stephen Covey created a diagram of concentric circles made up of: Our Circle of Concern; within that circle, our Circle of Influence; within that, our very small, Circle of Control. Of all the things that concern us, there are only a few that we can influence and even fewer that we can control.

Whereas reactive and passive people spend their energy talking and thinking about their many concerns, proactive people concentrate on what they can actually do something about.

Reactive and passive people tend to be unhappy, trapped in victimhood; and they attract others just like themselves. Proactive people tend to be energetic and happy; “birds of this feather” also tend to “flock together.”

A partner diagram might be: Circle of Thought — What I am thinking about; Circle of Talk — What I am (only) talking about; and Circle of Action — What I am doing something about.

Here is a good test question for me when I am “concerned” or “bothered” or want something to be otherwise:

“What specific and concrete goals have you set, and what specific and concrete physical actions have you taken to address this concern?”  

If any of you hear me grousing or prognosticating a dismal future, ask me that question.

This will quickly reveal if it is something I can influence or control.  It will also reveal how serious I am about it.  

Life is short and I want to focus my energies strategically.